Screw Drivers Key to Snap-on (NYSE: SNA) Success

Snap-on Screw Drivers

Investors ask:  How does Snap-on Incorporated (NYSE: SNA) do it?

What’s our secret  to increasing shareholder value quarter-after-quarter, year-after-year?

Our simple strategy can be summarized in two words:

Screw drivers.

No, we’re not referring to screwdrivers.

We’re referring to the tools who drive our Snap-on franchised vans… who provide us with guaranteed sales and free warehousing.

The tools who call only on the customers we designate, at their own expense.

The tools we get to risk their own money financing borrowers so unqualified we wouldn’t touch’m with a 10-foot dipstick.

The tools who look the other way as we generate new fees and inventory by “reacquiring” and reselling hundreds of franchises each year.

king regian screwdriver

We’re referring to the tools who defend us when we go after one of their own…

When we refuse to honor his warranties or pay him what is rightfully owed…

When we block him from selling the successful route he built so we can take it for our own…

At Snap-on, our secret to returning shareholder value is an internal program we have affectionately dubbed the “Crap-on Dealers Program.”

In short, we give Snap-on franchised dealers a screwing and give investors in Snap-on Incorporated (NYSE: SNA) the flowers, chocolates and goodnight kisses.

Snap-on Tools franchiseSome ask:  Aren’t you worried that Snap-on franchise dealers will read this & get outraged at the “Crap-on Dealers Program”?

Nah.  Snap-on dealers aren’t exactly the sharpest tools in the toolbox.

They just blame their fellow victims… and by the time it’s their turn to be the driver being screwed, it’s too late.

We truly do owe our success to our #1 tools:  Snap-on franchisees!

Snap-on Crap-on Dealers Program

The Crap-on Dealers Comment Page is Open!

Feel free to praise Snap-on’s “Crap-on Dealer Program” with your real name or anonymously!

Disclaimer: is an independent satirical parody website that is not affiliated with Snap-on Inc. (NYSE: SNA), Snap-on Tools Company LLC, any particular Snap-on franchisee, former franchisee, franchisee group or 3rd party vendor.  Trademarks belong to their respective owners.